We went there straight from Brandon and Amanda's, full of excitement and hope for delicious cheap curry and fresh fish. We were expecting good things, but what we found was amazing. The Viet Hoa is the grocery of my dreams. And it is because of this that I bring you my new weekly tribute to my local sketchy dream grocery: Viet Hoa Fo Sho.
This week: Green Spongy Mystery Food.
When I picked up this 89-cent loaf of fun, I thought that it looked kind of tasty, maybe like a green tea-flavored coconut cake. Then I gently pressed down on the top of it. It was bouncy, like Jell-o.
We set a ground rule - the food must be chewed and swallowed. No giving up and spitting it out. The food cannot win.
I took a bite, expecting it to taste like, well, something. Instead, my mouth was assaulted with the texture of fake plastic grass with a piquant styrofoam cup aftertaste. I may forget the taste, but I'll never forget trying to swallow it.
I made Matthew take a bite, and this happened:
He's all smiles now, but just wait until he sticks it in his mouth.
Since the thing was inedible, we decided to perform some experiments:
No.1 - If you can't eat it, befriend it!
It's sponge-like. Can it remove tough stains?
Matthew tried to set it on fire, but instead of igniting, it just smelled like burning plastic. Which lead us to a very important question - was this thing even meant to be eaten?
In frustration, we abandoned it on our back porch. We'll check up on it in a few days. Hopefully, it won't stain the porch or grow to ten times its size.
Next time: Emotionally conflicted cakes.
2 comments:
Midtown Rats will prob eat it!
just a suggestion - post an epilogue about it being a very effective ant repellant. even if most people don't want to eat it (and who would, after reading that) at least they can use it to keep away bugs.
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